It’s FinRegMageddon! Repent!

President Obama signed the Dodd-Frank Financial Regulation Reform Act into law Wednesday, be­ginning what will inevitably become a maelstrom of angry lobbying and  political jockeying.  Obama described the 2300 page behemoth as a “common sense approach to long-needed financial regulation”.  I don’t know about you, but ‘common sense’ usually doesn’t need to be explained in a tome about twice the length of Tolstoy’s War and Peace.
 
Maybe grandma was just more succinct in her common sense verbiage than lawmakers.  Who knows.
 
And the unintended consequences have already started.  Amongst other changes, ratings agencies will be held more accountable for the ratings they apply to certain institutions and financial products.  So, many of the nation’s top ratings agencies have hired a small army of lawyers to sift through the pages of the bill and, until they satisfactorily understand the many nuances held within, have declared they aren’t going to do anything.  A complete standstill.  Can’t really blame them for wanting to know where the mines are before they go skipping through the brand new minefield.
 
Big Ben Bernanke, our fearless Federal Reserve Chairman, spoke to Congress Wednesday citing that we are going through a period of ’Unusual uncertainty’.  Yeah.  That’s the kind of soothing talk that calms everyone down.  Stocks took a whack as a result. 
 
Evidently loan default knows no income boundaries.  In a recent survey it was noted that 1 in every 7 mortgages of $1,000,000.00 and greater was categorized as ‘seriously delinquent’ while matched by only 1 in 12 of those below the 1 mil mark.  Those lazy rich people.  Don’t they know that this kind of behavior could cost their corporate CEO golfing buddies their semi-annual bonuses?  For shame.  Now who will pay for the scotch and hookers?
 
Tons of mortgage lenders are turning down loans because of women taking maternity leave, saying that there is no guarantee that they will go back to work.  Prospective mothers out there, I have some strong language for you: how dare you include Junior in the American dream?  This is a free market.  If your baby wants a home, they can get a job and earn one.
 
And, as if Florida being at the tip-top of the list for states involved in mortgage fraud wasn’t enough, we have a new feather to put in our community’s cap: a recent study by CoreLogic Inc. named Or­lando as one of the cities in America with the highest incidence of mortgage fraud.  I’m not saying everyone other than me is out to get you, but everyone other than me is out to get you.
 
You heard me.

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